Terrible Ways To Propose

Rule 1: Don't propose in a restaurant, fast food or otherwise.

We know what you're thinking ("But we met at TGI Fridays!"). That's too bad. A restaurant means there's an audience. A restaurant means there's the potential for a lot of embarassment should tears (of either joy or rejection) arise. Also, it's totally unromantic to have to sit at the table waiting for the check to show up after being asked the most important question of one's romantic life. Cooking For Two

Rule 2: Don't propose in front of friends and family.

It's bad enough being proposed to in a public place. But the pressure (and lack of romance) is even worse to  be ways to propose when you're surrounded by friends and family. What if you two really want to get it on after the question is popped? What if the friends or family jump in when you don't want them to? What if the answer is really: "No, I don't want to marry you"?

Rule 3: Don't put the ring in your beloved's food.

First, because food is sticky, gooey, and oftentimes greasy. Second, because human waste is sticky, gooey, and oftentimes greasy. And when a ring get swallowed, it usually ends up sticky, gooey, and greasy in both ways.

Rule 4: Don't propose in a dangerous place.

Recently, a man in Maryland proposed to his girlfriend on the rough and rocky Billy Goat Trail, near Great Falls national park. Not long afterwards, she fell off the side of a rock face and had to be rescued by a U.S. Park Police helicopter. Obviously, this was a bad ways to propose. First, becausethis ways to propose can make a person shaky and excited and less agile. Second, because if your beloved says "no" to your proposal and then falls off a cliff, you might look like a suspect should any injuries arise.

Rule 5: Don't propose on television.

This includes those giant screens at baseball games, tapings of the Tyra Banks Show, community access television, and videos that you plan to upload to YouTube. Seriously, if you think the restaurant proposal comes with a lot of potential headaches, just wait for thousands of people in a stadium to turn the pressure on. 7 Things Jon & Kate Can Teach Us About Love

Rule 6: Don't propose with a ring that you once proposed to someone else with.

Sure, that last person didn't work out, and sure, you hate for a perfectly good ring to go to waste. But, really, this is just tacky.

Rule 7: Don't mix sex and proposals.

First, cliche. Second, do you really mean it, or is it just the good sex? Your fiance may never know.